I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Randomize
