I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
