If that was your dad, he is hot
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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