i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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