It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
i think my cat just said my name.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
