lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
