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i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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