She said her name was "party"
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
