I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
