addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
