If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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