do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
this will be a night to untag.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
