Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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