I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
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