cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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