They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
