You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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