you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
