I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
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