Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
That's how pantless uber rides happen
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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