I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize