she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
