'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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