O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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