I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
