STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
