i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I wish i was in the wii world.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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