i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
