So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
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