Don't make out with my wife yet
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
