Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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