Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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