i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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