toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
