I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
