Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
