Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Quick, to the slutcave!
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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