In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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