YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
tonight lets celebrate not being married
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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