I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
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Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
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Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
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