so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
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we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
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It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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