its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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