He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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