Just cropdusted the office
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
