i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
