I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
PANTIES FOUND
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