Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
