jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
