i was born a porn star she said
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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