"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
