I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
