Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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