In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
