6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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