last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
