I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
