So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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