Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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