Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
