mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
