My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
