you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
