drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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