He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
