He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
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